Final Mission
by Staticz
Summary: Fox and his team have done many things already, saved the Lylat System 3 times, but yet they have to face the challenges of everyday life...
1. Coffee Problem

Author Comments: Well, this is my first fanfic... If you review, you can criticize, but please let it be constructive... Just no flames. Hope you enjoy it.

**Final Mission: Everyday Life**

**Chapter 1: Coffee Problem**

Pacing in the halls of the old battered Great Fox, a very bored and tired Fox heard the familiar, yet still startling hiss of a hatch opening.

He jumped and turned around, expecting danger.

His instincts (which he trusted all the time, thanks to Peppy), made him fire off a blast from his gun, which, luckily, was set to stun.

A terrified Slippy emerged from the hatch, stunned, but not harmed. The immobilized toad began to regain feeling in his limbs.

"Ack! Why do I feel so stiff?" asked Slippy, surprised and confused.

Fox let out a sigh of relief. "What do you want, Slippy?"

"Uh, well... I wanted to tell you that all the main systems are offline due to an unfortunate... mistake, so I'll be steering."

Fox's jaw dropped. "You? Steering? ...we're all gonna die..." whimpered a bewildered Fox.

"You'd better believe it!"

This scared Fox even more, as he was sure Slippy had heard his last sentence.

"...okay...?"

The green toad started for the control room, humming to himself. Fox started to follow, then realized nobody on the ship could steer the Great Fox any better than Slippy, which was pretty sad.

Fox left to cook some pancakes in the kitchen.

When he entered, he was engulfed in a foul spray of nasty coffee.

"Blah! That's the worst tasting coffee I've ever tasted! Falco! Get me some better coffee!"

Peppy drained what little was left in the cup and not on Fox into the sink.

An infuriated Falco stomped over to the coffee maker and poured a cup, then spooned what looked like a pound of sugar into it. He then gave the cup to a seemingly content Peppy.

"Ack! Way too bitter!" Peppy shouted furiously at Falco, who was in an equally bad mood.

Fox slowly inched toward the coffee maker. When he got there, he replaced the coffee filter and put fresh coffee in. A few minutes later, he poured a cup and added sugar and creamer, and then handed it to Peppy.

"I'm not drinking that! It's got your fur in it!"

"That's it!!! I'm leaving!" A terribly annoyed Falco stormed away.

Fox also left, but to take a shower instead of taking off in an Arwing. When he tried the bathroom door, it wouldn't open.

Fox looked disapprovingly at the door.

"Who the heck would be in my bathroom?" No answer, of course.

He rapped on the door again. This time, it creaked open, revealing... a Fox plushy toy.

"What the heck? What's that doing in here?"

He picked it up, and examined it carefully, finding nothing but a tag with "This is Krystal's plushy" scribbled on it.

His shower forgotten, Fox walked back to the mess hall, carrying the plushy.


	2. The Fox Plushy

Author's Comments: This is the second chapter. The same things apply from last chapter…Enjoy!

**Chapter 2: The Fox Plushy**

Fox entered the mess hall, for the second time. He then questioned Peppy, "Do you know where Krystal is?"

"Nope. She's probably in her room, though."

"Okay, thanks."

"Oh, yeah, Fox? Could you cook something for all of us? Last time I cooked, I somehow burnt down our fireproofed kitchen..."

"All right… I'll get you guys something."

After making a surprisingly good batch of pancakes, Fox headed out for Krystal's room.

"Krys? Are you in there? Hello?"

He pressed one of his sensitive ears against the door.

He heard a muffled "Yes?" as an answer.

"Um… it's already 12… Shouldn't you be up by now?"

The door opened immediately, and Fox was blown away by how much Fox-based merchandise she owned.

"…Fox? Are you okay?"

"Oh…Uh…I guess…"

"Is that my Fox plushy? Oh my gosh! It is!"

She snatched the fluffy and over hugged Fox plushy from a bewildered Fox.

"Uh… Just come and eat…Okay?"

"Yeah…I'll come after a few minutes…"

Fox set out for the unusually large television room in order to not miss the latest episode of Starfox Adventures. (A/N: No relationship whatsoever to the game)

After settling on the couch, he flipped on the large, but overused T.V.

Noticing that it was on CNN, (A/N: Corneria News Network, the CNN you most likely have seen before) Fox motioned for the remote when he heard this:

"Supermarket's supply of Fox plushies cleaned out by Starfox member Krystal.

"Commentary from Krystal: 'I love Fox so much!' "

The reporter continued: "In addition, this cost a total of 560 credits."

Fox, stunned, changed the channel.

----------

At that very moment, a certain grey hare snuck into Krystal's room, searching for something. He shuffled through some of her belongings, and found what he was looking for. With a satisfied expression on his face, he dashed away.

----------

After watching Starfox Adventures, Fox once again walked through the halls of the Great Fox. He later bumped into Peppy, who was looking very happy.

"Fox…I need to get to my room…"

"Wait…" Fox inspected Peppy, noticing that his fist was clenched around something.

"Are you hiding anything?'

"Nah…Why would I hide anything?"

"Come on, you can't hide it forever…It's no use now…Out with it!" Fox was becoming rather impatient about this.

"I'm not hiding anything…hehehe…Hahaha… Hahahahahahahaha!!!"

The hare, unexpectedly, began to laugh in hysterics. In his laughter, he accidentally dropped what he was holding.

Fox immediately took notice of the fact that it was a receipt.

It read:

Welcome to Corneria City Supermarket

Your cashier was: Bob Smiley.

Product - Quantity - Price

Fox Plushy - 80 - 7.00 credits

Thank you for shopping with us at Corneria City Supermarket.

After he finished reading the very crumpled receipt, Fox felt a very bad…sinking

feeling…

"Fox? What are you doing with that?" Krystal had walked into the hall occupied by Fox and Peppy.

"Um…Not reading it…"

"You know I can easily read your mind…"

"Oh crap! Right… I'll explain it all…"

Fox, who was still holding the receipt, explained this all to a very bored looking Krystal.

By the time he finished, she had already fallen asleep on the floor.

Fox, noticing this, nimbly snuck to the kitchen in hopes of finding a certain round, brown object, called… A COOKIE!

_A/N: It seems that everyone thinks this story is kind of… WTF?!?!_

_I agree._


	3. Cookie Cravings

Author's Comments: Hey, third chapter! It's shorter than the others, but enjoy!

**Chapter 3: Cookie Cravings**

A certain orange vulpine was looking desperately for a cookie jar.

While removing tons of items from the cabinets, he also was looking in unusual spots.

"Found ya!" Fox was triumphantly holding the cookie jar.

"Hmm…" Fox began inspecting it. It was blank, and had the words "Foxyboy's Cookie Jar" scribbled on it.

"What's that doing there? They don't sell cookie jars labeled like that…"

Fox opened the jar greedily and was about to grab a cookie when a particular blue avian popped out of the doorway holding a camera. He snapped a picture, and scurried off.

"Hey everyone! I got a snapshot of Fox eating a cookie!"

He was answered with a bored "So what?".

"Come on! It's funny!"

Peppy emerged from his usual spot, the couch, where he often lay vegetating and reading the comics.

"What now, Falco? Isn't this the fourth time you've bothered us? "

"Hey, you have got to see this!"

A couple minutes later, Peppy was strolling over to the kitchen mumbling, "Well, I've never know that Fox took such a liking to cookies!"

"Fox?" Peppy peered over into the kitchen to see a smug Fox eating a cookie.

Fox mumbled a barely audible "What…?"

"Fox, I was wondering…Ooh! That cookie looks good! Can I have one? Please???"

Fox tried to cover the jar when Peppy leaned over to see that the jar was bare.

"You…you…ate them all?"

"…Yes….." Fox nodded shamefully.

"Doggone it! I was hoping to get a cookie…You know your father would not approve of this…"

He trudged away, leaving a scrap of paper.

"Hmm…" Fox picked it up, turning it over.

It said:

Welcome to Corneria's Supermarket.

Your cashier was: Wolf O' Donnell.

"What??? No way…" whispered Fox, who was very confused and clueless.

Fox threw it away, and set out to go to the supermarket to hopefully… get some cookies and more stuff…

He set out for the docking bay, checking his wallet.

_A/N: More wtf, eh? Now, I've gotten the next two chapters planned out, but I'm thinkin' about making it longer… I'll take any and all suggestions and attempt to put them ALL into one final epilogue chapter. How's that sound? Please nothing inappropriate, okay?_


	4. Wolf's New Job

Author's Comments: Hey all! This is the fourth chapter. My school starts soon, so I probably won't be active for a while… But enjoy anyways, and more WTF to you!

**Chapter 4: Wolf's New Job**

Fox twirled down to Corneria at a dizzying pace, while sipping a bit of the coffee he made earlier.

"Bleccch! What happened to this coffee?" Fox looked inside the cup.

"Oh…Peppy was right…My fur certainly was in it…"

Fox had finally landed. Having been absent from Corneria for nearly a year, he took in the familiar sights and smells, towering buildings, and… what smelled like motor oil.

"Ughh! Why don't people maintain their cars? It smells…"

Fox looked at his Arwing. It was the latest model, with a wider wingspan that was foldable in small areas, a clearer windshield, and a fuel efficient engine. Plus, it looked like it was in one of the car spots…

"Crap! I didn't realize that I put it there…"

Fox pushed his Arwing into a spot labeled "Handicapped/Seniors Only".

He was about to leave when some random kid asked,

"Um… Mister? Are you a senior? Or handicapped?"

Fox stopped.

"Uh…What do you mean?"

The child replied, "Well, look where you parked your ship!"

The kid dashed away.

"WHAT? I messed up again? Oh no…"

When Fox moved his Arwing to the correctspot, the store was extremely busy.

When he walked in, there where a few officials barricading the entrance to keep the store from overflowing.

Fox pulled his VIP pass out. "I haven't used this for 2 years… I always took the regular entrance…"

He handed it to the guard.

"Are…are you…Fox McCloud??? Um sir…um oh…It's very nice to meet you sir!"

Fox passed the guard, thanking him, and jogged down to get some items…

When Fox had gotten all of his items, (Which included several packages of salmon, some salads, five pillows, and much more) he walked over to the check out lanes, to only see that all the lines were full.

He headed for the VIP line once again holding his pass.

Fox had loaded almost all of his merchandise onto the conveyor belt when…

He saw who the cashier was…

"Wolf? What are you doing here?"

"Huh? Oh yeah… Like I'm gonna tell ya!"

"Well, uh… I need to get going…"

"You're not going anywhere McCloud, I've got you where I want you and I gonna-"

He was cut off when his boss walked over to the lane.

"Hello? Ah… I see, Wolf, do you know him by any chance?"

"Um..Ye-no, I don't know him at all!"

"Okay, don't try anything funny…"

After obtaining his bags, Fox sprinted off towards the exit…when he was attacked by a swarm of kids wanting his autograph.

"No… I need to get to my Arwing…"

The kids began to drag Fox somewhere that he didn't know about.

"What? A Wolfen? Hey, let me go!"

The children shoved him into a makeshift back seat, made out of a filthy bucket.

Then he saw the pilot just for one instant-

Leon Powaski.

_A/N: Wow, my longest chapter yet! I'm still taking ideas. For details, go to Chapter 3 and read the A/N there._

_Did you like it? Review nicely, mind you…_


	5. A Lousy Capture

Author's Comments: Hey guys, this is fifth chapter… Also the longest! Enjoy, as always.

**Chapter 5: A Lousy Capture**

Fox tried to make himself comfortable as the Wolfen took off.

Failing to do so, he slumped on the old rusty bucket that was supposed to be a back seat.

Leon grumbled under his breath, "Don't feel bad, I have to sit on that thing all the time…"

Meanwhile, Fox was thinking of what Leon would look like if he was sitting on the bucket.

After a few moments of silence, the two began to hear bumping sounds in the cargo.

"I'll check what that is…" Leon pressed the button marked "Stop" and motioned to take off his seat belt off when the Wolfen lurched forward, slamming Leon into the windshield.

"Ouch! That hurt!" complained Leon.

At that same time, Fox reached forward and hit the button marked "Boost", thinking it would stop the ship.

Instead, it launched Leon out of the fighter through the ejector seat.

"Ahhh!!!" Leon looked to see that he was going to have a long, boring, and scary ride.

Fox watched in amusement as he saw Leon for the last time ever.

Then Fox shifted his "seat" over to the front, taking the controls.

He saw that the ship was low on fuel, and he looked down and saw that Sargasso was right ahead of him.

He landed there, expecting there to be guards to inspect the ship, but there were none.

Jumping out of the Wolfen, Fox looked back inside of it. He saw some credits, some pencils, and… a spare Star Wolf team uniform.

Fox reached inside. "This will come in handy…"

After changing, he dashed inside the base. He ran past their mess hall, seeing a cookie. He skidded to a stop and dashed inside.

Fox was just reaching for the cookie when a black paw hit his.

Panther, who was looking very angry, asked,"How'd you get in here?"

"Um…well…Leon captured me and was taking me here it seems-"

Panther had cut him off with "Where is Leon?"

"Well, I kinda ejected him out of the ship. He won't be coming back for a while."

"And I assume that Wolf is at his new job…"

Fox finally realized what Panther was trying to do. He dodged a swipe that seemed to come out of nowhere, and fought back.

Bring Bring

Panther, grumbling, walked out the door to pick up the phone.

After picking up the phone, he asked, "Hello?"

Wolf's gruff voice answered him. "Where is my Wolfen? Did you steal it again?"

"Uh…No…Leon did!"

"Augh! I'm gonna get him back for this…"

Click

Panther hung up.

Meanwhile, Fox was eating the stray cookie that was still lying on the table.

He was about to finish it when he got tackled by a couple of guards. He fell to the ground, blacking out from the impact.

He woke up in the Great Fox. "Wha? How'd I get here?"

Slippy answered him. "Falco did you the liberty of saving you from capture. He attacked the guards that were attacking you, and got shot."

"Got shot? Is he okay?"

"No,no,no. Falco thought he was dead, but then he realized that they had toy blasters. Then he grabbed you, and got away.

"Oh…"

After a little talk with Peppy about not getting captured so easily, Fox lay on the couch in the T.V room.

Fox flipped the television on.

The first thing he heard was, "Fox McCloud has craving for cookies!"

Then the reporter babbled on about the topic, while showing Falco's picture of him all the way.

"Falco!!! You are so DEAD!!!"

_A/N: Well, that's it, except for the epilogue chapter. I couldn't use anyone's ideas because I didn't get any…Still more WTF to come in the epilogue! _


	6. Epilogue

Author's Comments: Well, this is it, the epilogue! I'm glad you guys enjoy reading it! I'll write much more, I promise! But for now, I present to you… The EPILOGUE!

**Chapter 6: Epilogue**

Falco was hiding in the closet, shivering because there was no heat controls inside the closet.

Fox stormed around, and screamed, "FALCO!!! COME OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!!!"

Falco shrunk back into the closet.

Falco grinned when he remembered how he got himself stuck in this mess…

_Falco was sneaking around Fox's room, opening drawers, and finally opening the closet to find it full of Krystal stuff. Falco snickered. He picked one of them up, and ran out the door._

_Shortly after, Falco showed Krystal the plushy, who automatically assumed that Fox obsessed over her, explaining the obsession with Fox plushies…_

_Falco also did send the picture of Fox eating a cookie to General Pepper for 5000 credits. Pepper sent this to CNN and got it broadcasted._

Falco snapped out of the memory. He opened the door, not knowing why he was in the closet anymore, and ended up getting mowed down by Fox.

"AHH!!! Help MEEE…"

Falco disappeared into Fox's room, getting a well deserved beating.

A couple days later…

The very muchly feared Slippy Toad was walking down the hall with Fox.

"Hey Fox, why is Falco in the med bay anyways?"

Fox gave him a piercing glare, which made Slippy remember.

"Oh! Um…Oh yeah…He lost all of his teeth in that-"

He was cut off by Fox, who said, "Shut your trap! He tripped and-lost his teeth-yeah, that's what happened…"

Fox ran into Falco's med bay room with a video camera and took a wild video of what was happening.

He later reviewed it, finding that it contained Falco watching "Teletubbies" and "How to be a jerk 24/7", while eating some apple mush designed for babies.

He smirked as he put the tape in a envelope labeled :

"Why Falco is such a baby and a jerk."

To: CNN

1234 Falcosajerk Ln. 12345 Corneria

Fox dashed towards the mailbox, making sure no one saw him…

_A/N: And that's it! Hope you liked it! Thanks for all the support, especially for my first fanfic! Thanks to you all! And stay tuned! I'll for sure write more!_


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